What’s With Lily?

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There is a famous dog with a Blog and hey, Dogs are stupid.

So I, one Gerald Fish, lover of shrimp and tuna fish and genuinely always hungry, decided to take my handmaiden’s keyboard and write my own Blog.

My human handmaiden watches all things human politics and watch them with her. I have some fine opinions on human politics and all things in my household. I share a household with a big fat ugly male cat named Matthew, a nasty calico named Lily, a big galoot of a dog named Jo-Ann and, of course, my beloved handmaiden, Pat I think they call her.

Hope you enjoy my wisdom.

I just don’t know about this Lily cat that lives in my household. I don’t know where she came from, why she’s here, and most of all, I don’t know what’s her problem.

As I have best been able to felinely ascertain, Lily was “owned” (a human phrase I greatly dislike) by the handmaiden’s husband who once lived here and I think maybe he died like Lisa.

At any rate Lily does not like anybody, not me, not Matthew, not the dog, I don’t even think she likes the handmaiden and that’s pathetic.

Lily stalks a bird, see the arrow.
Lily stalks a bird, see the arrow.

Felines, and canines too, are dependent on their human “owners” for their food and water needs. Unless they want to go free and find their own necessities of life that is but there’s a cost for such dependence.

Now Lily, she might be mean, but she’s not stupid. She knows the human handmaiden is the source of her food and care. So while she does not like the handmaiden all that much, she pretends to like her so the handmaiden will feed her and clean her litter pan.

As for me, I adore the handmaiden and have loved her since the day she brought me home from the shelter. I don’t know what Lily’s problem is but she runs from the handmaiden every time she tries to pick her up or pet her.

I am almost twice the size of Lily, what with me being a tom cat, albeit something the humans call “neutered”. Lily’s a small calico in comparison but Lily, she never, ever gives up.

She reaches out and smacks the dog whenever it walks by and this amazes me. What’s her problem with the dog?

The dog DOES take our food but the handmaiden, she doesn’t feed us our morning treat until AFTER the dog is outside. As for our dry mix and water bowl, the handmaiden puts it up high so the dog can’t get to it.

Still Lily has to slap the dog and man, this is not a little dog. As for the dog, she really can care less about Lily. Actually the dog doesn’t like any of us cats, frankly.

Lily does come up on the bed at night and slip onto the lap of the handmaiden. Kind of tricky, being all loving while the handmaiden sleeps but Lily, she’s not only nasty, she’s sneaky.

As for me, I try to avoid the evil cat. She’s got an outlook on life that can wear one down.

And she poops in the bath tub.

What’s up with that?


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